Tuesday, February 14, 2012


Today is Valentines day....
I've never been one to celebrate too much on Valentines day.  I'm sensitive to all of my single friends ~ having walked that path for so long myself.  It just seems like a day that hurts those that don't have a "valentine".  I used to choose to work so that those who wanted off could be home with their loved ones.  I had no one special, so work was just easier.  

I did enjoy the day as a child.  It was fun doing all of those cheap little cards with a candy attached to it for all of the other boys and girls in my class. And I loved coming home and opening all of mine.  I just loved the cards, loved the paper and seeing the types of cards others chose to send.  I'd open them and reopen for days on end.  In fact, I still love the old fashioned paper card over an email any day...

As my children were growing I tried to make the day fun for them (even if I didn't feel like celebrating).  I'd help them make their cards.  I'd wear red, have them wear red and we'd talk about love and family.  I'd plan an all red dinner - spaghetti, red jello, cranberry juice, whatever...as long as it was red.  It helped to have them to fuss over.  Our family might have been broken by some people's definition, but we had each other and that is all that matters.  I was devoted to my children.  I was devoted to raising them by myself and tried to give them traditions and memories.  It wasn't always easy, but I tried none the less.   The children became my valentines and that is OK.  My heart might have been a little bruised and broken, but I had my children, we had each other, we had a home, and friends and extended family.  So there was still love to be found ~
I faced today with mixed emotions.  I am remarried now.  You'd think I'd want to make a fuss over Valentine's day.  Sort of make up for all of the years when there was no one to celebrate with.  But, I just don't like the idea of trying to go to dinner in the crowds.  I don't like the fact that many restaurants have "special valentines meals" instead of a regular full service menu.  I hate the fact that flowers are 3x more expensive then on any other day.  My poor husband knows not to send me flowers on February 14th...any other day is ok...just not today because they cost too much!!  I'd rather be spoiled 'just because' then caving to marketing pressures.

I was having a hard time getting in to the spirit of the day.  Everyone kept asking, "what are you doing for Valentine's Day?"  I struggled to answer.  Then finally just decided that it was ok not to go all out.  
It is ok to celebrate on the weekend when we can order what we want and the flowers cost less. HA!

I was talking with my husband about it the other night.  Trying to explain how we don't need to celebrate.  Then it dawned on me that he likes to spoil me.  He likes to buy a mushy card and wants to be able to tell his friends what we did.  He wants to be able to make the day fun.  He also went many years without a 'special' someone so to him it is a day to show his love.  Not that we don't try to show it every day.  But to him it is a fun excuse to celebrate each other.  So...I went out and bought him a new Apple nano touch...
I think he was surprised for he wasn't expecting anything.  And I will admit that it was kinda fun being able to surprise him.  
I got to sleep in this morning which is what I wanted more than anything in the world right now.  Buzz got up and moved the cars for street sweeping day and then left the house so it would be quiet.  Now to me that was a great gift in and of itself!   I got up to find baby pink roses and almond roca (one of my favorite candies) waiting on the table for me.  Buzz had also given me a heart shaped box of chocolates from See's candy last week...but we ate that pretty quick. He couldn't save it for today and I wanted to eat it while it was fresh.  HA!  So, I refilled the box for Michelle since she said that she has never received a heart shaped box of candy.  And I bought Erika a pair of pants (I know, random Valentines gift!)

We did not go out to dinner.  I did not get an expensive vase of roses. We did not spend the day together.  In fact I didn't do much of anything today.  And I am perfectly content with that.  Buzz worked and I had school.  I did enjoy the day though and will say that I am not quite as anti-Valentines day as I once was.  I even made little cards with a chocolate heart on it for all my classmates tonight.  And, we got out of class early!!!


Candi said...

Sorry I haven't read through your blog yet, I see from this post that you're in school. Are you going for your Master's?

babyrndeb said...

Yes Candi, I am in an RN to BSN program...one more week of patho then we start assessments. Learning lots and am sometimes overwhelmed but I keep reminding myself that I am halfway through YEAH. Not sure where I'm headed but needed the further education :)