Thursday, June 7, 2012

Working Extra

Dear Hubby is working an extra shift today.  He said he wanted to make a little extra money so that we could have a nice dinner out for our anniversary a month from now.  We plan to get away for the weekend too.
We will have been married five years...lots sure has happened in those five years...Some good, some not so good.  But we are committed for the long run.  And we know that getting away together and 'date nights' are good for us.
Hence, he is working hard for us.

Which is really, really weird for me.
I never had some one to take care of me.

My first husband did not always make enough to support us and I had to work.  But that was a good thing.  It taught me the value of hard work and to be independent.  I would never have been able to raise my kids as a single mom for all of those years if I had not already had some experience with making my own way.

Then when I went through my divorce my husband was not working so I did not get any child support.  I could have been angry and frustrated...but I wanted custody of the kids.  I could have vented and complained but it just wasn't worth it to me.  I wanted my children to be safe and secure in their own home.  And I did not want to pay spousal support  - I could been ordered to since I was working and he wasn't...but I bargained.  I opted to raise the children on my own.  I chose to not get child support if I could just raise my children.  We were not rich by any means but we have always had a roof over our heads and a little extra play money.  We did not live beyond our means. We do not have a big house.  Yet, the kids were able to play sports, we have pets, we traveled, and we have never gone without food.  Thankfully I have a job where I made enough to support us and where I could work extra shifts if I needed to.  And there was a time in life where I worked many an extra shift.  I work the night shift because you make a bit more on nights and I picked up extra hours almost every pay period.  I was lucky in that my parents lived close by and were able to watch my kids at night while I worked.

Back to my original thought...hubby is working extra.  I feel a little guilty sitting at home.  I feel like I should be getting stuff done (like writing that paper that is due next Tuesday night or cleaning this messy house).  Yet, all I can think of is that I am so lucky to have a hubby that wants to take care of me.  A hubby that is willing to plan for us.  A hubby that is willing to work an extra day just so we can splurge on our anniversary.  I need to learn to rest in the fact that we are partners now.  That I don't have to do it all.  Yes, it is weird.  Yes, I'm going to have to learn to let go just a little bit.  Yes, I'm going to have to learn to trust that he has my best interest at heart.

I love you dear hubby and thank your for working hard for us!

Maybe one day it won't feel so weird to have some one taking care of me...

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