Ever feel like crying? Like things just aren't going as planned? Like life is way overwhelming and you just want to go to bed and pull a pillow over your head....only your room is so jam packed with crap that it isn't even relaxing in there??
That's sort of where I am right now. Daily life sometimes is a struggle for me. With working full time at a job plus going to school and trying to maintain a house it is enough to throw me over the edge on a frequent basis...but I cope and deal with it.
I know, I have no reason to complain. My children are healthy and vibrant. I have no real health issues . I have a job. I chose to go to school (well, sort of - I need to go to move up in the profession and secure a future for myself). I have a roof over my head.
So why do I feel like crying? Why do I feel like I'm not coping so well right now?
Let me see..
- Yesterday was my birthday - I had to work. No big deal - I like my work friends so I didn't really care. Until I was there and every mother due in September was also there. We ran with 20-21 patients all day. It was insane...mom's laboring in the recovery room, mom's sitting at the desk for blood draws until a room was available, one patient in a bed but no monitors available...so I got to play as if I were in disaster mode....I listened to fetal heart tones with a doppler and used my hands to palpate for contractions. The amazing things was that all of the deliveries were safely done and most of the patients didn't even know we were having space issues. Call that service with a smile.
- Naturally I didn't do anything yesterday to celebrate my birthday. Well, a girl friend brought me lunch and my hubby brought me flowers. So, I can't say I didn't do anything.
- Came home from work to find that they had fixed my rotted out cupboard............but there is still a leak.
- Had to teach a class today.
- I need to fix my power point from today's class.
- Had to go to Biola to talk to an instructor about a student that I am going to precept this semester.
- I have an exam to take...and I haven't had time to work on it yet. Actually I worked on some of it and it is really hard! Half of the answers I can't find. Guess I haven't been paying very good attention in class this semester.
- I can't get in to my kitchen or barely even walk downstairs for half of the concrete got sealed today for our new flooring and it is so darn sticky that my shoes pull off! (But my new wood stairs are looking lovely). Wonder what the dogs are going to do tonight when they get home???
- There is dust everywhere (maybe I should have gotten a hotel!)
- I want to help Erika with her wedding plans.
- I need to try to work extra shifts to pay for that wedding~
- I need to get my mask fitting done at the hospital.
- I need to take some BFHI inservice exam since we are about ready to re-cert at work.
- I need to make this years Christmas party budget and expenditure list (since I have already starting writing the checks for the party - I'm the book-keeper for that committee...)
- I signed up to go to a woman's retreat this weekend but I am thinking of staying home.
ok - that is enough complaining...
It doesn't actually look so bad now that I wrote it all done. Maybe that was all I needed was to get it down on paper (or on a computer). That helped me to put my life in to perspective.
Think I will go get some gas and then go join Erika for dinner at Gabbi's. My favorite restaurant. It is in Old Towne' Orange and quite yummy. It makes me smile just thinking about eating there. HA!
I see a little Sangria in my near future.