Decision Made

It took me awhile to make my decision regarding the adjunct teaching position at Cal Baptist University.  It was something that I really wanted and I felt that I would like it and it would be a new challenge.  The fact that they came to me gave me a stroke of confidence and I felt somewhat empowered to dive right in and try it out.

I like higher education.

I was excited to think that I could work with students and share my knowledge.

But...

I spent 7 out of 8 days at the hospital between my crazy work schedule, meetings and working an extra shift....so I was starting to feel tired and in need of a day off.

One of my daughter's bridesmaids called me to ask about scheduling in a shower for Erika....and I struggled to find a free day...

Dear hubby called to ask about what day we could schedule our tax appointment for this year and I only had 2 or 3 free days in February.

I am already scheduled for many Tuesdays so would need to switch all of those days around to get the day off to add in this new job.

My stress level started to go up...I could feel it and I thought, "What the heck am I even thinking of taking on something extra right now?"

Yes, the extra money would have been nice...but "do I really need to add on a third job right now with the wedding coming and all?"

So ~ I decided to turn down the position for this semester.  The semester starts next Tuesday and I felt it was just too much.

I really feel like I need a bit of a break from the crazy past couple of years of going to school and working.

I want to research master's programs.

I want to get my house in order (yes, the finishing touches are still not done from our remodel...it's been a year).

I want to enjoy the wedding planning.

I want to go to the PLIDA (Pregnancy Loss Infant Death Alliance) conference in April.

I want to concentrate on my current positions.

I am a little bummed.  I feel a little disappointed that I couldn't take on another thing. 

The position was something I know that I would have liked.  I feel bad for saying "No".  

Yet, I do feel like I made the right decision.  It just is not the right time in my life.  I'm not saying no to teaching in the future...just not this semester.  I could hear the disappointment in the director's voice when I said "No"...but she understood my reasons (I think).

They reassured me that fall semester is just around the corner and asked if I'd consider them then...so there is always that opportunity...I'm just going to have to sit tight and wait until the timing is right.

I know the best job for me will come along.

It is weird...I feel a little directionless right now.  I already miss school and the friends I made there.  I'm not sure what I want to do for the rest of my career.  I want to make a difference and do something worthwhile.  Guess I'm feeling a little restless and just trying to figure 'me' out.  (don't you think I'd have already done that at my age??)

On a brighter note ~ as I'm sitting here feeling a little bummed about my decision ~ My new business cards came in.  We have a new logo and new colors to go with that logo...and I added some letters behind my name.  I like the new cards. They are brighter and make me feel better.

Debbie