I haven't been able to blog much about work lately...we have had a rough couple of weeks and things are just now starting to settle back down...
I know intellectually that childbirth is not a 100% risk free event...yet to be faced with the things that we have had to face lately has really tried our emotional beings.
It started with the code...I was in charge and there is just something about going in to a room and seeing a mom having chest compressions done to her...my first initial reaction was..."this is just wrong! Women shouldn't die in childbirth" but I had to put that aside to help perform the tasks at hand. There was so much to be done as we struggled to save a life.
Sometimes I don't understand why God chooses to do what He does. There are times that I go home questioning what I am doing and why I work where I do. All I really could do when I did get home was to tell my kids that I love them.
What I do know for sure is:
-that I work with the most incredible people - not just the nurses but the OB's and the anesthesiologist too. People who really care about others and who are able to jump in during an emergency and get the job done.
-that if I am ever critical I know where I want to be and who I want to be taking care of me.
-that the doctors that work down in IR (interventional radiology) are some of the smartest brainiacs that I know and do amazing things on a computer screen while really doing it to a human.
-that the human body is an amazing piece of work, able to suffer great trauma and heal and go on.
-that St Joseph's is so good about taking care of it's staff - scheduling debriefings and meetings to make sure that we are OK
-that I am not alone. That the other nurses that I work with understand and walk the same path, that we are able to hug and say I love you to each other and are able to cry together as well as laugh in the fun times. They are incredible people as well as nurses.
-that I can't be too careful...I need to be on my toes and really able to assess a situation, that I can't get complacent and think this is a no-brainer.
-that it is OK to take a day or two off, reassess then be ready to get back to work...that it isn't all bad and more often than not L&D is a happy place to work.
-that I am sooo thankful that Kim and Lilly made it through childbirth healthy!
To know that my job is not like many others - but it is a calling and a priveledge to be there for others. To be there for someone in their time of need as well as in their times of joy - who else in other jobs can say that!?!?